From Self-Imposed Unemployment to Self-Imposed Limbo

How is it that I can semi-develop a pseudo-plan, then sabotage it in its infancy? Because that seems to be what I've done by interviewing for a full-time job right after quitting the other one.

Not to say I haven't been "living the dream." I've been watching movies, sleeping in, catching up with old friends - just had lunch with DHS classmate Jon Conard today - you know, the usual great stuff you can't usually do. I have an industrial video shoot tomorrow - the kind of thing I could not have pursued if I worked days. And I just helped copy edit a newsletter for the acting school I went to, another thing I'm not normally able to volunteer for. On a somewhat related note, the number of things I post on Facebook has no doubt risen quite a bit, which I'm sure must thrill lots of people. Oh, look, here's another one.

But I can't very well keep going after auditions or video shoots, or look for freelance writing work, if I might be starting a new job. It's like getting off the trapeze bar right before someone reaches out to grab you. It kind of tarnishes the reputation for reliability within a circle I want to stay connected to. So until the picture is clearer - which should take two or three weeks, I guess - I'm in limbo. Meaning more movie watching mixed with the occasional household chore.

I guess it's hard to resist that idea of a guaranteed payday, especially if it's bigger. This, I suppose, is not surprising to me. But that little voice (or one of the several I hear from time to time) is saying "You call this risk-taking? Please!" I like that little voice - he's the one that got me to go skydiving. But he's also the one that told my younger self to leave that parking lot after I bashed that car, and I could've gone to jail for that. So I listen, but also take what he says with a grain of salt. (It was one-car, and I was the only person involved. Come on, people, I'm not a monster. I got caught, I paid up. Lesson learned.)

I'm not rooting against the idea of getting the job, because I think landing it would be a positive. Otherwise I wouldn't have applied. I'll just have to assess how I can make sure the work-life balance tips more positively toward life. And of course, this is all idle speculation since there's certainly a possibility I WON'T get the job. So how 'bout I just shut up about it for now?